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Let's face it, gossip in early childhood centres does happen and sometimes it can even have a negative impact on staff, children and families.
At times we probably have all been guilty of gossip. However, it can become a habit and ingrained in the culture to the point where it’s difficult to know how things can be turned around.
There is good news for leaders though who are prepared to take a stand and bring about positive change for their environment and team culture.
Typically, you'll hear people say it's normal for there to be gossip when a lot of women work together but you don't have to accept that and you can turn your workplace into a zero tolerance for gossip service or a gossip-free zone.
Gossip is talking about someone (whether you say their name or not) when they’re not there and it is not positive for that person.
It would be seen as negative, critical or embarrassing by that person and it’s usually private information that wouldn’t otherwise be discussed publicly.
Often gossip is false news, it's not true, is only partly true or it's embellished or twisted, like a Chinese whisper.
Gossip can take place in person, by email, by text or on social media. It might happen in or out of working hours.
No, although it may be “fun” or disguised as passing on information at the time, it doesn’t benefit anyone. There's always negativity surrounding gossip.
If it’s something positive or neutral, then it’s news or conversation and not gossip.
Gossip has a negative impact whereas casual conversation or chit-chat doesn’t.
For example, if you’re talking about an upcoming birthday party or your frustration with the traffic on the way to work, these things usually have a positive or neutral impact.
Use the gossip test below if you’re not sure.
Use the Gossip Test to check your conversations
To determine if something is gossip, ask yourself these questions:
In this conversation am I being a good role model for the children?
Would I say this if the person I’m talking about was here?
Would this be negative or embarrassing for the person I’m talking about?
Is this going to bring the team together or cause problems in the team?
Is this sort of conversation that a professional person would have?
Is this conversation at some else’s expense? Is it making light of someone else’s misfortune?
Is it hurtful?
Is there a negative vibe or feeling?
Will this help to make my service a happy and positive place to work or be at?
Is what I’m saying true and factual? Is this false news?
What is my intention or purpose in talking about this? What outcome am I seeking?
How would your Director or another leader, your mother or a respected colleague or friend react if they heard this conversation?
Is there a valid reason why your conversation needs to be whispered, in another language, not seen by others or stopped when the person being talked about walks by?
Do I have any doubt about whether this conversation is positive and why?
Sadly, gossip can make people feel powerful (real or imagined power) or knowledgeable or better about themselves in the moment.
They have something to share that others don’t know and can bring them attention.
Sometimes gossip stems out of thoughtlessness and not considering its impact on others.
At other times, gossip can become a negative habit.
People can also gossip when they lack the skills, confidence or desire to challenge or directly address someone else in a professional manner to address an issue or resolve a conflict.
Don't be part of the gossip cycle
No, gossip only exists if someone else listens to it.
Shut the gossip down by changing the subject or ending the conversation or being direct.
By listening to gossip, you are part of the gossip cycle, encouraging it, permitting it and helping it to continue.
Remember this saying too:
Anyone who will gossip to you, will gossip about you (Source unknown)
Here are some gossip-blockers to try:
Depending on the situation, how you are being impacted, there are some options to choose from:
Be accountable to yourself to be professional
Gossip can:
Contribute to a negative culture or feel and decrease people’s motivation
Take the focus away from the children and their families
Cause conflict
Hurt individuals or groups of people personally and professionally
Mean that you are not meeting the NQS in relation to professionalism and being collaborative, respectful and ethical.
Cause strained relationships and tensions in a team
Reduce trust
Damages teamwork making it difficult for people to work together
Creates problems for directors and other leaders as staff run to them more often instead of collaborating with each other
Turn into bullying
Cause good employees to leave the service because of the negative environment
Set a negative example for children and families
Can impact on the effectiveness of your service in provide quality education and care
Affect people’s reputations (both for the gossiper and the person being spoken about)
Mean that children are missing out on the opportunity to see trusted adults ie educators and other staff modelling professionalism, resolving conflict, working through differences and being respectful and supportive of each other.
Intentionally work on bringing about real change
Although it may take time and determination to end the cycle of gossip, it is possible.
Set a realistic plan, be proactive in addressing gossip, obtain buy-in from your team and seek help when you need it.
You can build or restore professionalism and collaborative teamwork and skills can be developed by everyone at your service to contribute to this.
Talk to your team and reflect together about how gossip and it's impact. What would people like to improve? What do they want to learn? What skills do they need to stop gossip and communicate effectively? What would support them - an in-house workshop, a discussion at a staff meeting, a visual reminder about gossip or just some information like this blog?
Here are some resources that may assist: